Daphnedelia Reads

Friday, November 18, 2005

The absentee father

So what about Terry's father? We've talked a little about "Evelyn's husband," but what about him as a dad? And specifically, the author's relationship with him. I guess what I'm getting at is that I think there's a lot in what she didn't say about her father. It seems to me that she has not forgiven him and/or the memories are too painful and she is unable to deal with him in the book, except as a sidenote. She really doesn't talk about him more than absolutely necessary. I have a few guesses about why (none of them too deep).

First, I think Terry probably hasn't resolved her feelings for her father. She obviously loves and admires her mother very much, to write a book like this about her life, and she sees her father as a main source of her mother's pain. What a life Evelyn would have had and could have made for her family had she not been burdened with her husband's problems. Kelly was a fun dad now and then, but was mostly just the guy to avoid, and was even occasionally the enemy (especially when he hurt Evelyn). It's probably too painful for Terry to write much about her father.

Second, I think that Evelyn was more of a father figure than Kelly. So in writing about Evelyn, Terry wrote about both mother and father. Evelyn is the one the kids went to when they needed money, "things," help with homework. She was even the one they played catch with, and was the most supportive of the older boys when they went off to play baseball professionally. Kelly failed to fulfill his role, so Evelyn filled both mother and father roles. Kelly wasn't even home most of the time anyway (except at night, when he drank and they avoided him).

Third, and what is probably the dominant reason, this book is Terry's tribute to her mother. It's written about a woman who always made the best out of life, even when it was incredibly difficult. She didn't dwell on her poverty, lack of education, difficult husband, or even her very mischievous kids. Terry didn't want to sully the story of her mom's triumphs with too much sordid detail. She gave only the pertinent details about her dad's interactions with the family, and left it at that.

In short, I'm amazed that Terry could tell the story of her mother's life with so little emphasis on her father. I'm intrigued about her present feelings toward her father, which are probably much too complex to be explained by my little blogpost, or even by Terry herself. And I wonder if any of you have other ideas about Terry and her dad...

Monday, October 17, 2005

Book duds

I wanted to start this blog with a post about the latest thought-provoking book I've been reading. But the problem is, I'm kind of in a rut. Self-induced, that is. I have no shortage of fascinating books on my list. I've made it through at least three a month this year. The rest of my life shows it.So I've picked up "Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance," a famous book about a guy, his son, his motorcycle, and life. I've always wanted to read it. I've put it down and may not get it all read before it's due back at the library. Of course, maybe I just couldn't get into it because I was on a plane with my two boys and was trying to read while playing Buzz Lightyear and nursing the baby. I want to give it another chance, because I'm sure I'll get hooked eventually. But I'm kind of enjoying this brief hiatus from reading and I'm almost afraid to get back into book inhalation mode. My house is almost approaching a state of semi-clean!

The other dud, which isn't really a dud, is "Uncle Tom's Cabin." I've been working on this all year! I really like the book, it's just not a page-turner. Not like an Orson Scott Card novel. So I keep setting it aside for the more exciting books. I guess I'll give myself until the end of the year, and if I'm not done, I won't let myself read anything else until it's done.

Has anyone else read a book that took forever to get through? Or that you didn't even finish because it was just not compelling at all? Are you just smart enough not to start one like that?